The Shame Trap

April 19th, 2009

So many things can happen in life that trap us is shame.   Being raped or in a violent relationship, childhood sexual exploitation, having an addiction or dealing with sexuality issues, or even a mental illness are just a few of the things of which folks feel ashamed.  There are many more.  Most of them are not our fault.  But “The Shame Trap” catches you.

When caught in the trap, it’s very hard to get out. People spend years trying to cope.  Living in shame is not healthy for your soul.  It eats away at you.  It can keep us in emotional isolation, feeling depressed and less-than, making it very difficult to have meaningful and authentic connections with others.  It will take great courage to break free.

The path to freedom that I’m most aware of is to acknowledge your captor.  At some point, if you want to put your depression, anxiety, and self-recrimination in it’s correct place, you must speak your truth.  Telling someone you trust, like a therapist, what has happened to you and acknowledging it effects can lead you out of your trap and into triumphant living.

The decision is yours to make.  It is a risk.  But it is a risk that many find worth taking.  Taking the first step to make an appointment with a therapist seems so difficult.  But you can do it.  And you can escape the shame trap.

To contact me, call me at 202/460-6384 or email me at

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