June 3rd, 2020

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January 3rd, 2019

I was trying to transition from a tripod headstand into crow pose. After I brought my knees to my triceps, I just couldn’t lift my head off of the floor. Or if I did, I rocked backwards onto my feet. The woman next to me, an friendly, encouraging face from class, was making the transition perfectly.  I paused and asked her for advice. She offered some classic yogic advice: Root down to rise up.

Tags: psychotherapy, therapy, Therapy & Counseling
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April 6th, 2017

Have you ever attempted the yoga pose known as Eka Pada Raja- kapotasana, otherwise known as King Pigeon? In this pose, you balance on a bent leg, while reaching behind you to pull the opposite leg up – all while putting an arch in your back. It looks similar to a mermaid on a beach and is quite elegant. The pose requires a lot of openings in your body, flexiblity, and calmness. Without these qualities, you could hurt yourself, or simply fall out of balance.

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Tags: Anxiety & Stress, relationships, safe, safety, self care, sexuality, therapy
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February 6th, 2017

the hard season
will
split you through,
you will bleed water.

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Tags: Anxiety & Stress, counseling, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, grief, healing, hope, therapy
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July 18th, 2015

Having good sex can increase a trans person’s comfort with their body. This is the message Buck Angel and I attempted to impart to over 150 sex educators, counselors, and therapists at the annual AASECT (American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists) conference in Minneapolis this past June. At our workshop “Sexing the Trans Man,” attendees were excited to learn about the connections between gender identity, body dysphoria, and sexual expression as well as the opportunity to dispel some myths about transgender men. We showed one of Buck’s docu-porns to help attendees hear from actual transgender men as well as see what transgender sex actually looks like. (Hint – it doesn’t look much different than cisgender sex.) as well as see the diversity of transmasculine bodies.The major myth we attempted to dispel is that trans men hate their bodies.

Tags: body love, gender identity, sexuality, transgender
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May 28th, 2015

“I like to keep things light.” This is what a boyfriend – let’s call him Rahim – recently told a friend of mine – let’s call her Sharon. Rahim said this in the face of major crises, including a life or death situation for a loved one. Sharon told me about the inherent dichotomy in what her boyfriend is saying versus what he is experiencing. And how stating that he keeps things light is actually an avoidance strategy that is not honest, nor is it ultimately helpful. Rahim was sleeping poorly, had stomach aches, and generally felt miserable.  So much for  keeping things light.

Tags: self care
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December 31st, 2013

I learn a lot from yoga.  I learn what my mind says I can’t do.  And what my body actually can do.  I learn that a regular physical practice keeps me grounded, or at least not as crazed as I am without it.  I also learn a few things that inform my therapy.

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December 9th, 2013

Yesterday was a cold, snowy day in DC.  I, along with a small group of intrepid yogis, attended a class on inversions and folds.  It was a great class – very inwardly focused yet challenging.  We did a lot of heart-openers, pushing our chests and hearts out, bending our upper backs and feeling very flexible – or not so flexible – depending on our individual situations.

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Tags: hope, therapy, wholehearted living
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March 11th, 2013

I’m not one much for sporting analogies, but in this case, it seems apropos.  As a therapist, I’ve been a part of many boxing matches – watching clients logical brains spar with their emotional brains.  People often think that if they can understand their emotions, they won’t have to experience them.  Logic beats emotion and, in theory at least, makes life easier. And for many beginners in therapy, the logical brain wins.  I’m not always celebrating this accomplishment.

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