Posts Tagged ‘hope’

The Hard Season…

February 6th, 2017

therapythe hard season
will
split you through,
you will bleed water.

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Are you going to believe that story?

June 27th, 2016

compassion“Do you want to trust that story?”, asked a mentor of mine. We were in a workshop, exploring mindfulness, therapy, and the stories and beliefs we hold on to. The story I was telling about myself was particularly persistent. And when it’s told, I’m often left feeling lonely and unlovable. But for many reasons, the story is difficult to resist.

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Negative Self-Talk & the Nasty Roommate

October 22nd, 2015

negative self-talkThe Scene: Two men are talking on the phone, trying to set up a date for the weekend. Sam called Jamal to ask him out on a date. Sam is VERY interested in Jamal, and feeling very vulnerable.

Sam: Do you want to get together this weekend?

The Voice in Sam’s head: He won’t want to see you. He’s got better things to do.

Jamal: Sure, that’d be great.

Sam: When are you free?

Jamal: I’m free all weekend.

Sam: Ok.  Let’s do Saturday night.

The Voice in Sam’s Head: He has nothing better to do so he’ll go out with you.

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Your Illusions

January 19th, 2015

illusionSome of your illusions seeped into you before you learned to talk. Others sneaked into you later, while you were busy figuring out how to become yourself. Eventually, you even made conscious choices to adopt certain illusions because they provided you with comfort and consolation.

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The Mid-Life Re-Evaluation (aka mid-life crisis)

December 3rd, 2014

mid-life crisis“I’m kind of embarrassed.  I think I’m just going through a mid-life crisis.”  I’ve heard these words, or something similar to them, from many clients of a certain age. Shaming stereotypes of an older man running off with a younger woman in his brand new convertible run rampant…and make it more difficult for some people to talk about this stage of life.

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Tears…and The Soul

October 29th, 2014

Tears and the soulI might find myself in tears. I wrote these words to a friend recently, anticipating a hurtful experience with someone I know. I was poking fun at myself, making fun of my propensity to cry, a trait I am at times proud of and at other times would rather not have.

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Booker T. Washington & Chocolate Cake: Real World Advice on Coping with Depression & Loneliness, Part IV

March 12th, 2014

Coping with depression, loneliness, and feelings of hopelessness can feel like a solitary activity. When we feel these ways, we often have the impression that we’re on our own. I recently asked my Facebook friends how they get through difficult times – an effort of mine to get more ideas as a therapist and to also help people feel more connected at a time when it’s hard to feel love from others. I received many replies and have published portions of each one.  Following are the final comments I received from my friends. I hope you find these as meaningful as I have.

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“F*ck it…might as well do the dishes”: Real World Advice on Coping with Depression & Loneliness, Part III

March 5th, 2014

About a month ago, I posed a question to my Facebook friends, asking them how they cope with periods of depression, loneliness, and hopelessness. I received many wonderful, honest responses.  Studies have shown that therapy and counseling are an effective ways to deal with depression.  But I know that there are others ways too.  So, I continue to share with you the variety of ways people get through the tough days, months, and years.

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Dance Party for One: Real World Advice on Coping with Depression & Loneliness, Part II

February 26th, 2014

Feeling depressed, lonely, and hopeless are not unusual emotional experiences for many of us. Yet it is something we rarely talk about in public or with our friends. We read books – often in the solitude of our homes – which can be helpful. But books connect us in a different way then discussion. In an effort to destigmatize this part of life, I asked my personal Facebook friends for their thoughts on how they cope when they find themselves in difficult emotional states. Here’s the second installment of their lovely responses.

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Beach time & Quilting: Real World Advice on Coping with Depression & Loneliness, Part I

February 19th, 2014

I so often write about dealing with depression, loneliness, hopelessness, and other difficult, dark times. I do this because we all go through challenging periods, but many of us rarely talk with our friends and loved ones about how we cope and find our way. Usually, I’ll write about the suggestions I give to clients, the ways my clients cope, or advice from other clinicians. This time, though, I’m doing something different, with the hope that this will be helpful as well.

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