Archive for the ‘Depression, Anxiety & Stress’ Category

“Pillars we can lean on…”

June 15th, 2016

grief therapistMany people are grieving this week. Many people are angry this week. And many people are numbed and don’t know what to feel or how they feel. The nation has experienced another mass shooting and we are devastated. There’s not many words of comfort I can offer, as I’m simply another person who is also experiencing many of the same emotions you are. However, I can offer you the advice of a 12 year old.

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Negative Self-Talk & the Nasty Roommate

October 22nd, 2015

negative self-talkThe Scene: Two men are talking on the phone, trying to set up a date for the weekend. Sam called Jamal to ask him out on a date. Sam is VERY interested in Jamal, and feeling very vulnerable.

Sam: Do you want to get together this weekend?

The Voice in Sam’s head: He won’t want to see you. He’s got better things to do.

Jamal: Sure, that’d be great.

Sam: When are you free?

Jamal: I’m free all weekend.

Sam: Ok.  Let’s do Saturday night.

The Voice in Sam’s Head: He has nothing better to do so he’ll go out with you.

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Keeping Things Light

May 28th, 2015

self-care“I like to keep things light.” This is what a boyfriend – let’s call him Rahim – recently told a friend of mine – let’s call her Sharon. Rahim said this in the face of major crises, including a life or death situation for a loved one. Sharon told me about the inherent dichotomy in what her boyfriend is saying versus what he is experiencing. And how stating that he keeps things light is actually an avoidance strategy that is not honest, nor is it ultimately helpful. Rahim was sleeping poorly, had stomach aches, and generally felt miserable.  So much for  keeping things light.

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Fear? Or Intuition?

May 7th, 2015

PTSD treatment“Trust your intuition.” We’ve all been told this. It’s nice to be able to trust yourself and your internal compass. However, a yoga teacher recently reminded me that trusting your intuition isn’t always that straightforward.

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The Power of Speaking Up

January 8th, 2015

expressing angerWhat do you do when you hear racist, transphobic, sexist or otherwise offensive comments? What does it feel like when you don’t speak up? Do you justify your actions and then feel uncomfortable with that justification? Do you fear coming off as rude or socially unacceptable.  Do you fear offending the person who has offended you…or making others uncomfortable.

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The Mid-Life Re-Evaluation (aka mid-life crisis)

December 3rd, 2014

mid-life crisis“I’m kind of embarrassed.  I think I’m just going through a mid-life crisis.”  I’ve heard these words, or something similar to them, from many clients of a certain age. Shaming stereotypes of an older man running off with a younger woman in his brand new convertible run rampant…and make it more difficult for some people to talk about this stage of life.

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Tears…and The Soul

October 29th, 2014

Tears and the soulI might find myself in tears. I wrote these words to a friend recently, anticipating a hurtful experience with someone I know. I was poking fun at myself, making fun of my propensity to cry, a trait I am at times proud of and at other times would rather not have.

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Sexual Trauma and Men – A Path to Thriving

July 11th, 2014

Talking about sexual assault, sexual abuse, and rape is difficult for anyone. For men, it has it’s own unique challenges – often putting to question a man’s sense of his own masculinity. Men, some think more then women, are quiet about this experience. They often don’t know what path to take in dealing with such challenging memories. And we know that when people don’t talk about the hard stuff, when they hold it in, that they often get depressed, angry, sad, and feel alone and misunderstood.

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Taking Child’s Pose

April 9th, 2014

Have you ever taken a yoga class? If so, then you are surely aware of one of the most basic poses – Child’s Pose. When taking this pose, you are folded over your knees, forehead of the ground and arms and hands either flat by your sides or stretched out in front of you.  I understand it to be a resting pose – used when you need to take a break from the current flow of the class.  You might be too tired, you might have noticed a pain somewhere in your body, you might simply not want to do the current pose that the rest of the class is doing. So you opt out and take Child’s Pose.

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Booker T. Washington & Chocolate Cake: Real World Advice on Coping with Depression & Loneliness, Part IV

March 12th, 2014

Coping with depression, loneliness, and feelings of hopelessness can feel like a solitary activity. When we feel these ways, we often have the impression that we’re on our own. I recently asked my Facebook friends how they get through difficult times – an effort of mine to get more ideas as a therapist and to also help people feel more connected at a time when it’s hard to feel love from others. I received many replies and have published portions of each one.  Following are the final comments I received from my friends. I hope you find these as meaningful as I have.

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