Archive for the ‘Sexual/Physical Abuse & Trauma’ Category

Cracking Open the Window

May 23rd, 2016

trauma-informed therapistYou’re talking with your partner about a long-standing disagreement. Perhaps it’s the chores and how you think you do most of them. Or it’s the frequency of sex you have. Maybe it’s your desire to have children. These conversations are difficult for you. In fact, you often find yourself getting worked up quickly. You’re heart starts pounding, your chest gets tight, you might feel a bit nauseous, and you just want to get away…or you feel the urge to attack. You don’t feel safe any longer. Your window for tolerance – your ability to cope with the stress – is closing and something needs to be done.

Read the rest of this page »

Fear? Or Intuition?

May 7th, 2015

PTSD treatment“Trust your intuition.” We’ve all been told this. It’s nice to be able to trust yourself and your internal compass. However, a yoga teacher recently reminded me that trusting your intuition isn’t always that straightforward.

Read the rest of this page »

The Genius of BDSM

December 20th, 2014

kink-friendly therapist“When I’m with her, she’s in control. I agree to do whatever she says. I trust that she’s got my interests at heart.” Such sentiments have been expressed to me by men and women when talking about their experiences with their Mistress, Master, Dom, Domme, or whatever term they use to describe the top in their Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship or sexual scene.

Read the rest of this page »

Sexual Trauma and Men – A Path to Thriving

July 11th, 2014

Talking about sexual assault, sexual abuse, and rape is difficult for anyone. For men, it has it’s own unique challenges – often putting to question a man’s sense of his own masculinity. Men, some think more then women, are quiet about this experience. They often don’t know what path to take in dealing with such challenging memories. And we know that when people don’t talk about the hard stuff, when they hold it in, that they often get depressed, angry, sad, and feel alone and misunderstood.

Read the rest of this page »

The Tricky Part

February 23rd, 2011

Have you read Martin Moran’s memoir “The Tricky Part“?  It’s his story of being sexually abused as achildhood sexual abuse  child and his journey to recovery.   It’s a wonderful, yet harrowing read for many reasons.  The part that stands out to me is his conflicting thoughts of hating the abuse, but also liking the attention.  It’s a confusing thought that many people - men and women - who were abused by someone they know experience.

Read the rest of this page »

Unresolved Trauma and Relationships

March 9th, 2010

couples counseling traumaDo you have a hard time trusting?  Do you find intimacy threatening?  Do you run from a relationship before it gets too serious?  If so, you’re not alone.  These are some of the difficulties survivors of abuse, sexual assault, rape and molestation report.  Not all survivors, of course, but enough to were it’s recognizable.

Read the rest of this page »

A Decision to Heal

February 24th, 2010

PTSD treatmentHow does it feel to heal from sexual abuse?  What efforts do people make to once again feel healthy & strong, to regain trust?  A terrific resource is the book “Strong at the Heart” by Carolyn Lehman (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2005).  She makes space for eleven survivors of sexual abuse to tell their stories of healing and hope.

Read the rest of this page »

The Trauma of Oppression

December 29th, 2009

oppression and therapyBeing a Person of Color or a member of any marginalized group in America has it’s challenges.  You already know that.  You don’t need a therapist to tell you about how -isms affect you and your life.  What I would like to tell you about, however, is how therapy can help relieve trauma-based symptoms which are caused by social conditions, like racism, sexism, and the like.

Read the rest of this page »

Escaping Trauma (Examples from the movie “Precious”)

November 23rd, 2009

traumaHave you seen the movie “Precious”?  I found it to be very moving, upsetting and enlightening.  I thought that the main character, Precious, gave us some excellent examples of the negative effects of trauma and abuse - be it physical, sexual, or emotional.

Read the rest of this page »

Look at Your Feet!

November 2nd, 2009

mindfulnessEarlier in the week, I learned a valuable lesson from someone* who’s been through some major difficulties in life, including alcoholism in the family, financial difficulties, relationship issues, and mental illness.  This woman – let’s call her Shauna – has been troubled for a long time.  However, she’s found an excellent coping mechanism, firmly grounded in awareness and mindfulness.  Even when times are hard, and perhaps especially  when times are hard, Shauna reminds herself to “Look at my feet.”

Read the rest of this page »