Archive for the ‘Sexual/Physical Abuse & Trauma’ Category

Befriending Your Feelings

September 29th, 2022

What if you weren’t afraid of your feelings? Not a question we are asked very often; perhaps never. But maybe it’s one worth considering.

I think about this often, both for myself as well as with clients. There are many emotions we welcome, often without thinking about it. Joy, happiness, transcendence are just a few examples. They feel great! We actually crave the experience of some emotions.

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Cracking Open the Window

May 23rd, 2016

trauma-informed therapistYou’re talking with your partner about a long-standing disagreement. Perhaps it’s the chores and how you think you do most of them. Or it’s the frequency of sex you have. Maybe it’s your desire to have children. These conversations are difficult for you. In fact, you often find yourself getting worked up quickly. You’re heart starts pounding, your chest gets tight, you might feel a bit nauseous, and you just want to get away…or you feel the urge to attack. You don’t feel safe any longer. Your window for tolerance – your ability to cope with the stress – is closing and something needs to be done.

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Fear? Or Intuition?

May 7th, 2015

PTSD treatment“Trust your intuition.” We’ve all been told this. It’s nice to be able to trust yourself and your internal compass. However, a yoga teacher recently reminded me that trusting your intuition isn’t always that straightforward.

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The Genius of BDSM

December 20th, 2014

kink-friendly therapist“When I’m with her, she’s in control. I agree to do whatever she says. I trust that she’s got my interests at heart.” Such sentiments have been expressed to me by men and women when talking about their experiences with their Mistress, Master, Dom, Domme, or whatever term they use to describe the top in their Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship or sexual scene.

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Sexual Trauma and Men – A Path to Thriving

July 11th, 2014

Talking about sexual assault, sexual abuse, and rape is difficult for anyone. For men, it has it’s own unique challenges – often putting to question a man’s sense of his own masculinity. Men, some think more then women, are quiet about this experience. They often don’t know what path to take in dealing with such challenging memories. And we know that when people don’t talk about the hard stuff, when they hold it in, that they often get depressed, angry, sad, and feel alone and misunderstood.

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The Tricky Part

February 23rd, 2011

Have you read Martin Moran’s memoir “The Tricky Part“?  It’s his story of being sexually abused as achildhood sexual abuse  child and his journey to recovery.   It’s a wonderful, yet harrowing read for many reasons.  The part that stands out to me is his conflicting thoughts of hating the abuse, but also liking the attention.  It’s a confusing thought that many people – men and women – who were abused by someone they know experience.

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Unresolved Trauma and Relationships

March 9th, 2010

couples counseling traumaDo you have a hard time trusting?  Do you find intimacy threatening?  Do you run from a relationship before it gets too serious?  If so, you’re not alone.  These are some of the difficulties survivors of abuse, sexual assault, rape and molestation report.  Not all survivors, of course, but enough to were it’s recognizable.

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A Decision to Heal

February 24th, 2010

PTSD treatmentHow does it feel to heal from sexual abuse?  What efforts do people make to once again feel healthy & strong, to regain trust?  A terrific resource is the book “Strong at the Heart” by Carolyn Lehman (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2005).  She makes space for eleven survivors of sexual abuse to tell their stories of healing and hope.

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The Trauma of Oppression

December 29th, 2009

oppression and therapyBeing a Person of Color or a member of any marginalized group in America has it’s challenges.  You already know that.  You don’t need a therapist to tell you about how -isms affect you and your life.  What I would like to tell you about, however, is how therapy can help relieve trauma-based symptoms which are caused by social conditions, like racism, sexism, and the like.

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Escaping Trauma (Examples from the movie “Precious”)

November 23rd, 2009

traumaHave you seen the movie “Precious”?  I found it to be very moving, upsetting and enlightening.  I thought that the main character, Precious, gave us some excellent examples of the negative effects of trauma and abuse – be it physical, sexual, or emotional.

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