Archive for the ‘Grief & Loss’ Category

The Hard Season…

February 6th, 2017

therapythe hard season
will
split you through,
you will bleed water.

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“Pillars we can lean on…”

June 15th, 2016

grief therapistMany people are grieving this week. Many people are angry this week. And many people are numbed and don’t know what to feel or how they feel. The nation has experienced another mass shooting and we are devastated. There’s not many words of comfort I can offer, as I’m simply another person who is also experiencing many of the same emotions you are. However, I can offer you the advice of a 12 year old.

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Keeping Things Light

May 28th, 2015

self-care“I like to keep things light.” This is what a boyfriend – let’s call him Rahim – recently told a friend of mine – let’s call her Sharon. Rahim said this in the face of major crises, including a life or death situation for a loved one. Sharon told me about the inherent dichotomy in what her boyfriend is saying versus what he is experiencing. And how stating that he keeps things light is actually an avoidance strategy that is not honest, nor is it ultimately helpful. Rahim was sleeping poorly, had stomach aches, and generally felt miserable.  So much for  keeping things light.

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Taking Child’s Pose

April 9th, 2014

Have you ever taken a yoga class? If so, then you are surely aware of one of the most basic poses – Child’s Pose. When taking this pose, you are folded over your knees, forehead of the ground and arms and hands either flat by your sides or stretched out in front of you.  I understand it to be a resting pose – used when you need to take a break from the current flow of the class.  You might be too tired, you might have noticed a pain somewhere in your body, you might simply not want to do the current pose that the rest of the class is doing. So you opt out and take Child’s Pose.

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Booker T. Washington & Chocolate Cake: Real World Advice on Coping with Depression & Loneliness, Part IV

March 12th, 2014

Coping with depression, loneliness, and feelings of hopelessness can feel like a solitary activity. When we feel these ways, we often have the impression that we’re on our own. I recently asked my Facebook friends how they get through difficult times – an effort of mine to get more ideas as a therapist and to also help people feel more connected at a time when it’s hard to feel love from others. I received many replies and have published portions of each one.  Following are the final comments I received from my friends. I hope you find these as meaningful as I have.

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“F*ck it…might as well do the dishes”: Real World Advice on Coping with Depression & Loneliness, Part III

March 5th, 2014

About a month ago, I posed a question to my Facebook friends, asking them how they cope with periods of depression, loneliness, and hopelessness. I received many wonderful, honest responses.  Studies have shown that therapy and counseling are an effective ways to deal with depression.  But I know that there are others ways too.  So, I continue to share with you the variety of ways people get through the tough days, months, and years.

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Dance Party for One: Real World Advice on Coping with Depression & Loneliness, Part II

February 26th, 2014

Feeling depressed, lonely, and hopeless are not unusual emotional experiences for many of us. Yet it is something we rarely talk about in public or with our friends. We read books – often in the solitude of our homes – which can be helpful. But books connect us in a different way then discussion. In an effort to destigmatize this part of life, I asked my personal Facebook friends for their thoughts on how they cope when they find themselves in difficult emotional states. Here’s the second installment of their lovely responses.

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Beach time & Quilting: Real World Advice on Coping with Depression & Loneliness, Part I

February 19th, 2014

I so often write about dealing with depression, loneliness, hopelessness, and other difficult, dark times. I do this because we all go through challenging periods, but many of us rarely talk with our friends and loved ones about how we cope and find our way. Usually, I’ll write about the suggestions I give to clients, the ways my clients cope, or advice from other clinicians. This time, though, I’m doing something different, with the hope that this will be helpful as well.

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In the middle lies anxiety

December 31st, 2013

I learn a lot from yoga.  I learn what my mind says I can’t do.  And what my body actually can do.  I learn that a regular physical practice keeps me grounded, or at least not as crazed as I am without it.  I also learn a few things that inform my therapy.

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The Logical vs. The Emotional

March 11th, 2013

I’m not one much for sporting analogies, but in this case, it seems apropos.  As a therapist, I’ve been a part of many boxing matches – watching clients logical brains spar with their emotional brains.  People often think that if they can understand their emotions, they won’t have to experience them.  Logic beats emotion and, in theory at least, makes life easier. And for many beginners in therapy, the logical brain wins.  I’m not always celebrating this accomplishment.

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