Demonstrating Willingness with Your Partner or Spouse

May 29th, 2010

couples therapyWhen I see a couple in the therapy room, they are typically at their wit’s end.  They’ve tried to fix things on their own and can’t see their way through it. Perhaps one partner blames the other.  Most likely, they’ve tried to talk over their concerns themselves, but end up fighting, arguing, or simply avoiding the issues.  They don’t feel connection with each other and often feel contempt.

With that, you’d think that coming to see a therapist would be a relief.  And it can be.  But it’s not easy.  Trust between partners and spouses needs to be rebuilt.  And this is only done by taking risks and becoming vulnerable.  And it’s so different from seeing a counselor or therapist on your own.  Then, you only have to get comfortable with the therapist.  When you come with your partner or spouse, you have to address your discomfort and mistrust with him or her. However, just by showing your willingness to be vulnerable with your partner, you’re demonstrating a desire to change.  Opening yourself up and claiming your own problematic behaviors, words, and actions – rather than simply blaming the other – can make a big difference.

For couples therapy in Dupont Circle – Washington, DC, contact Mike Giordano, LICSW at 202/460-6384 or

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