Posts Tagged ‘couples’

What college students can teach us about sexting

August 29th, 2017

sexting“Sexting has become an epidemic!”

“What are these kids thinking?”

“Why would anyone send a nude picture via text? Don’t they know the risks?”

You’ve probably heard these comments and more, made about sexting and how younger people are using their phones. Yes, there are risks of having your pictures end up somewhere unwanted. Public humiliation and shame are definitely things to avoid. But there’s also an upside to sexting.

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Relationship Lessons from a Pro-Domme

March 31st, 2015

relationship lessonsIf your Master or Mistress asks you to tell you what’s on your mind…you tell them, says a Pro-Domme (professional dominatrix) in a workshop for people in Dom/sub relationships.  She was reminding everyone about why they contracted to be with their partner and how to continue in a healthy way.  It’s actually pretty straightforward advice if you’re the submissive in a Master/slave, Daddy/Boy, or any other kind of Dom/sub relationship. You entered in to this relationship with the understanding that you do as you’re told. In fact, being clear about expectations and direct communication are hallmarks of many D/s relationships.  However, this advice is not exclusive to these kinds of agreements. It can be helpful to all.

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Poly-Friendly Therapy

August 30th, 2010

poly-friendly therapistJudgement.  I know you’ve felt it from people, maybe even from a therapist.  Judgement that your “lifestyle” isn’t healthy.  That there’s something wrong with your open relationship.  Maybe you’ve even been told that your intimate relationships are a sign that you can’t commit, you’re immature, or some other nonsense.

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Demonstrating Willingness with Your Partner or Spouse

May 29th, 2010

couples therapyWhen I see a couple in the therapy room, they are typically at their wit’s end.  They’ve tried to fix things on their own and can’t see their way through it. Perhaps one partner blames the other.  Most likely, they’ve tried to talk over their concerns themselves, but end up fighting, arguing, or simply avoiding the issues.  They don’t feel connection with each other and often feel contempt.

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Why a Kink-Friendly & Kink-Aware Therapist?

May 20th, 2010

kink-friendly therapistDiscussing topics of fetish, fantasy, BDSM and other “kinks” demands that your therapist is non-judgmental.  So many times, folks have reported feeling judged or pathologized for their desires or fantasies, even when they find these desires to be joyful and fulfilling.  A kink-friendly therapist doesn’t judge.  A kink-friendly and aware therapist recognizes that there are many ways in which people express themselves, their identity, intimacy, and sexuality.

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Unresolved Trauma and Relationships

March 9th, 2010

couples counseling traumaDo you have a hard time trusting?  Do you find intimacy threatening?  Do you run from a relationship before it gets too serious?  If so, you’re not alone.  These are some of the difficulties survivors of abuse, sexual assault, rape and molestation report.  Not all survivors, of course, but enough to were it’s recognizable.

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Staying on Your Partner’s Island

January 14th, 2010

couples counselingAre you in a difficult situation with your partner or spouse?  Fighting, arguing, wondering if this will work?  If so, it’s not an unusual place to be.  Being in a committed relationship has many challenges.  Being vulnerable and trusting, especially when trust has been violated, is difficult.

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Gay and Lesbian Couples & the Military

July 19th, 2009

LGBT military couplesI have learned from my clients that being LGBT and in the military is not easy.  Having to hide an integral part of yourself can take it’s toll.  The military poses special challenges for same sex couples in which one or both of the partners is serving.  For some couples, secrecy becomes important both on the job and off.  And if the couple decides to live openly while off-duty, worries about being seen or “caught” can still be present.

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Good News for Same-Sex Couples!

October 27th, 2008

No – marriage equality hasn’t spread across the country…yet.  However, Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute has learned some interesting things in his study of lesbian and gay couples.  And it appears that same-sex couples have something to teach straight couples. 

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Making Relationships Work

October 21st, 2008

I’ve been reading up on Couples Therapy lately.  It’s quite interesting what a specific researcher is saying.  Dr. John Gottman at the University of Washington in Seattle has been researching couples for years.  He has found the qualities that make or break a couple – and they’re not what we’ve come to expect.

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