Good News for Same-Sex Couples!

October 27th, 2008

No – marriage equality hasn’t spread across the country…yet.  However, Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute has learned some interesting things in his study of lesbian and gay couples.  And it appears that same-sex couples have something to teach straight couples. 

First off – Dr. Gottman found that lesbian and gay couples are similar to straight couples.  They all “deal with every day ups-and-downs of close relationships” and relationship satisfaction and quality are about the same for all couples.  However, Dr. Gottman found unique strengths in lesbian and gay couples that are generally not as strong in heterosexual couples.  Among them include:

  • Gay and lesbian couples are more upbeat and affectionate while in disagreement and conflict.
  • Lesbian and gay couples use less controlling tactics, including belligerence, fear, and hostility than heterosexual couples.
  • Same-sex couples are less likely to take arguments personally.

Perhaps it would do all couples some good to try to emulate some of these traits.  For, as we know, a happy couple makes a happy home!

To learn more about Dr. Gottman’s work, visit

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