March 11th, 2013

I’m not one much for sporting analogies, but in this case, it seems apropos.  As a therapist, I’ve been a part of many boxing matches – watching clients logical brains spar with their emotional brains.  People often think that if they can understand their emotions, they won’t have to experience them.  Logic beats emotion and, in theory at least, makes life easier. And for many beginners in therapy, the logical brain wins.  I’m not always celebrating this accomplishment.

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Posted Under | Depression, Anxiety & Stress, Grief & Loss, Therapy & Counseling, Uncategorized | No Comments »

November 7th, 2011

Have you ever experienced overwhelming grief?  If you’ve gone through an extremely difficult loss, you know what I’m talking about.  Feeling on the verge of tears – more often than you’ve ever experienced.  Feeling sad and depressed much of the day.  Or experiencing a surge of sadness unexpectedly.  You find yourself angry and bitter and don’t quite understand this change in your perspective.  Perhaps you react strongly to things that would have gotten a much weaker response from you at a different time.

Tags: grief, Grief & Loss, loss, relationships
Posted Under | Cancer, HIV and Other Illnesses, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, Grief & Loss, Relationships, Couples, Polyamory, Kink & Sexuality | No Comments »

April 13th, 2011

What happens when you grow up in a society saying you’re less-than for being black?  Or that you must be meek if your Asian?  Most likely, you reject these sterotypes and be yourself.  There are many prejudiced stereotypes you know aren’t true for you.  However, from what I know from my work with People of Color, these harmful messages can sometimes linger, distorting the way you think about yourself.

Tags: Anxiety & Stress, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, People of Color, racism
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June 14th, 2010

In The Noonday Demon – Andrew Solomon’s book on depression – internalized racism is defined as self-doubt predicated on dominant social attitudes (pg. 196, Scribner, 2001).  In other words, the oppressive social attitude of white society that People of Color are less-than can manifest in a Person of Color as a lack of self-confidence.

Tags: African Americans, People of Color, shame
Posted Under | Depression, Anxiety & Stress, People of Color | No Comments »

April 13th, 2010

Grief is depression in proportion to circumstance; depression is grief out of proportion to circumstance.  So saysAndrew Solomon, the author “The Noonday Demon” (Scribner, 2001).  Mr. Solomon then proceeds to detail his often devastating experiences with major depression.

Tags: Anxiety & Stress, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, grief, loss
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February 2nd, 2010

I spent the weekend at a workshop exploring insights from mindfulness practices and psychotherapy.  Mindfulness practices include meditation, yoga, contemplative prayer, and a host of other activities.  One of the things that stuck with me was how both mindfulness practices and psychotherapy can help a person cultivate a mind like a sky.  But what exactly does that mean?

Tags: hope, mindfulness, therapy
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December 29th, 2009

Being a Person of Color or a member of any marginalized group in America has it’s challenges.  You already know that.  You don’t need a therapist to tell you about how -isms affect you and your life.  What I would like to tell you about, however, is how therapy can help relieve trauma-based symptoms which are caused by social conditions, like racism, sexism, and the like.

Tags: African Americans, People of Color, trauma
Posted Under | Depression, Anxiety & Stress, People of Color, Sexual/Physical Abuse & Trauma | No Comments »

November 23rd, 2009

Have you seen the movie “Precious”?  I found it to be very moving, upsetting and enlightening.  I thought that the main character, Precious, gave us some excellent examples of the negative effects of trauma and abuse – be it physical, sexual, or emotional.

Tags: abuse, assault, hope, sexual abuse, trauma
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November 21st, 2009

What do you do when things get tough?  When you’re going through a difficult illness, experiencing a loss, or feeling depressed or anxious?  Many people follow the adage – “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.”  While there is some value to this, I offer a different path.

Tags: Anxiety & Stress, cancer, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, grief, hope
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November 2nd, 2009

Earlier in the week, I learned a valuable lesson from someone* who’s been through some major difficulties in life, including alcoholism in the family, financial difficulties, relationship issues, and mental illness.  This woman – let’s call her Shauna – has been troubled for a long time.  However, she’s found an excellent coping mechanism, firmly grounded in awareness and mindfulness.  Even when times are hard, and perhaps especially  when times are hard, Shauna reminds herself to “Look at my feet.”

Tags: Anxiety & Stress, hope
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