Archive for the ‘Therapy & Counseling’ Category

But I don’t want to be angry…

July 23rd, 2013

I have heard that statement – or something very close to it – many times from my clients.  Many people are very uncomfortable with anger.  So uncomfortable that they will deny it exists.

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The Logical vs. The Emotional

March 11th, 2013

I’m not one much for sporting analogies, but in this case, it seems apropos.  As a therapist, I’ve been a part of many boxing matches – watching clients logical brains spar with their emotional brains.  People often think that if they can understand their emotions, they won’t have to experience them.  Logic beats emotion and, in theory at least, makes life easier. And for many beginners in therapy, the logical brain wins.  I’m not always celebrating this accomplishment.

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Accepting Difficult Emotions

November 30th, 2012

Anger therapy“I want to stop feeling this way.”

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Morally Straight?

September 18th, 2012

moralsI recently read an article about the Boy Scouts of America’s continued determination to keep gay men and adolescents from participating in the organization. The leadership uses the argument that being gay is not “morally straight.” The concept of morality and sexual orientation is an interesting one. And in my work as a therapist, I’ve learned that morality is certainly subjective.

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Riding the Wave

July 11th, 2012

Have you been surfing lately?  Summer’s here and the beach isn’t too far away.  I’ve never surfed in the ocean myself…but there is another kind of surfing that I practice.  There’s another wave to ride…and it wont get you wet.  I’m talking about the wave of emotion. 

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The Therapist/Client Relationship

January 1st, 2012

psychotherapyClients seem surprised when I ask them questions like “Are you mad at me?” or “Have I offended you?”.  They often feel uncomfortable answering directly – which I completely understand.  However, I do this for a reason.  In fact, I do it for several reasons, which I will further explain.

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The Movie “Like Crazy” – A lesson in tolerating your emotions

November 30th, 2011

Couples TherapyHave you seen the movie “Like Crazy” – a film about two young lovers who keep attempting to have a relationship with each other, even when it seems in vain?  It’s not an unusual story.  In fact, the couple’s experience is very human.  As a therapist, I found some very useful lessons in it.  But first:  Spoiler alter!  Don’t read on if you don’t want to know the storyline…

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Questions and Compassion

September 26th, 2011

questioning and compassionBe patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.
–Rainer Maria Rilke

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Hanging On

June 12th, 2011

hanging onWhen you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.  Have you heard this saying before?  I’ve seen it credited to Franklin Delano Roosevelt.  And I’ve been thinking about what it means to feel like you’re at the end of your rope, when you believe that you can’t take any more.  When you feel like you just can’t go on.

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“When will I feel better?”

March 4th, 2011

change psychotherapyPeople often come to therapists to feel better.  They are tired, depressed, anxious, worried, down…you name it, as you’ve probably been there yourself.  Folks will often see therapists with the hope that these feelings will go away…quickly.  In fact, sometimes in the first session, clients ask me directly, “When will I feel better?”

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