May 28th, 2018
“Trust, Mike!”
That’s what my yoga teacher told me, noticing that I became anxious and had begun to pull out of a backbend from the knees. It was a challenging pose and she was directing the class to go deeper then most of us had in the past. However, immediately upon hearing her, I took her direction and entered back into the pose, and went deeper into it then I ever have. It was one of those moments in yoga, when you realize that you’re capable of more then you thought.
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Tags: Anxiety & Stress, change, self care, self-love, trust
Posted Under | Therapy & Counseling | No Comments »
November 7th, 2017
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Tags: self care, self-acceptance, self-compassion, self-love
Posted Under | Therapy & Counseling | No Comments »
April 6th, 2017
Have you ever attempted the yoga pose known as Eka Pada Raja- kapotasana, otherwise known as King Pigeon? In this pose, you balance on a bent leg, while reaching behind you to pull the opposite leg up – all while putting an arch in your back. It looks similar to a mermaid on a beach and is quite elegant. The pose requires a lot of openings in your body, flexiblity, and calmness. Without these qualities, you could hurt yourself, or simply fall out of balance.
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Tags: Anxiety & Stress, relationships, safe, safety, self care, sexuality, therapy
Posted Under | Relationships, Couples, Polyamory, Kink & Sexuality, Therapy & Counseling, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
June 27th, 2016
“Do you want to trust that story?”, asked a mentor of mine. We were in a workshop, exploring mindfulness, therapy, and the stories and beliefs we hold on to. The story I was telling about myself was particularly persistent. And when it’s told, I’m often left feeling lonely and unlovable. But for many reasons, the story is difficult to resist.
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Tags: healing, hope, self care, self-love, trauma
Posted Under | Therapy & Counseling | No Comments »
October 22nd, 2015
The Scene: Two men are talking on the phone, trying to set up a date for the weekend. Sam called Jamal to ask him out on a date. Sam is VERY interested in Jamal, and feeling very vulnerable.
Sam: Do you want to get together this weekend?
The Voice in Sam’s head: He won’t want to see you. He’s got better things to do.
Jamal: Sure, that’d be great.
Sam: When are you free?
Jamal: I’m free all weekend.
Sam: Ok. Let’s do Saturday night.
The Voice in Sam’s Head: He has nothing better to do so he’ll go out with you.
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Tags: hope, mindfulness, self care, self-love
Posted Under | Depression, Anxiety & Stress, Therapy & Counseling | No Comments »
October 8th, 2015
In September, I presented a workshop with my colleague, therapist Tamara Pincus, at CatalystCon West in Burbank, LA. Our workshop, “Why can’t I go to a sex party?” provided a space for professionals, including psychotherapists, to explore how their sexual expression and professional lives interact. We’ve facilitated this conversation several times and one thing has become abundantly clear: the dominant culture’s shaming of non-heteronormative, non-monogamy-based sexualities affects not only clients…but therapists as well. The shame and judgement of a sexually-repressed culture has consequences for everyone.
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Tags: Kink & Sexuality, relationships, self care, sex
Posted Under | Relationships, Couples, Polyamory, Kink & Sexuality, Therapy & Counseling | No Comments »
May 28th, 2015
“I like to keep things light.” This is what a boyfriend – let’s call him Rahim – recently told a friend of mine – let’s call her Sharon. Rahim said this in the face of major crises, including a life or death situation for a loved one. Sharon told me about the inherent dichotomy in what her boyfriend is saying versus what he is experiencing. And how stating that he keeps things light is actually an avoidance strategy that is not honest, nor is it ultimately helpful. Rahim was sleeping poorly, had stomach aches, and generally felt miserable. So much for keeping things light.
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Tags: self care
Posted Under | Depression, Anxiety & Stress, Grief & Loss, Therapy & Counseling, Uncategorized | No Comments »
May 7th, 2015
“Trust your intuition.” We’ve all been told this. It’s nice to be able to trust yourself and your internal compass. However, a yoga teacher recently reminded me that trusting your intuition isn’t always that straightforward.
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Tags: emotional abuse, healing, self care, sexual abuse, trauma, yoga
Posted Under | Depression, Anxiety & Stress, Sexual/Physical Abuse & Trauma, Therapy & Counseling | No Comments »
March 20th, 2015
I’m not man enough, says one trans male client. I question my masculinity, says another cis male client. Am I as much of a woman as a cis woman?, asks a trans female client. Why doesn’t my life matter?, asks an African American cis male client. Questions like these pop up with much regularity in my work. People questioning their authenticity because cultural “norms” and life experiences make them feel out of place, invalidated, and just plain crappy about themselves.
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Tags: confidence, lgbt, People of Color, self care, self-love
Posted Under | Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, & Queer Concerns, People of Color, Therapy & Counseling | No Comments »
January 19th, 2015
Some of your illusions seeped into you before you learned to talk. Others sneaked into you later, while you were busy figuring out how to become yourself. Eventually, you even made conscious choices to adopt certain illusions because they provided you with comfort and consolation.
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Tags: hope, self care, self-love, therapy
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