Posts Tagged ‘therapy’

“When will I feel better?”

March 4th, 2011

change psychotherapyPeople often come to therapists to feel better.  They are tired, depressed, anxious, worried, down…you name it, as you’ve probably been there yourself.  Folks will often see therapists with the hope that these feelings will go away…quickly.  In fact, sometimes in the first session, clients ask me directly, “When will I feel better?”

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Rigorous Honesty

December 1st, 2010

honestyTherapy and counseling can be difficult.  You make the appointment and show up with the best of intentions.  There are some things you need to work on – to talk out.  You then find yourself face-to-face with the therapist and you just can’t bring yourself to speak your truth.  You feel self-conscious, conspicuous, embarrassed or perhaps vulnerable.  You know that being honest with yourself will help, but it’s difficult. Sometimes it takes courage to be honest.

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A Mind Like The Sky

February 2nd, 2010

mindfulness psychotherapyI spent the weekend at a workshop exploring insights from mindfulness practices and psychotherapy.  Mindfulness practices include meditation, yoga, contemplative prayer, and a host of other activities.  One of the things that stuck with me was how both mindfulness practices and psychotherapy can help a person cultivate a mind like a sky.  But what exactly does that mean?

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What Therapy And New York City Have in Common

September 13th, 2009

therapyRecently a friend of mine from the Midwest told me about her visit to New York City.  Her and her partner brought their nephew, a teenager who feels and appears out of place in their hometown, for vacation.  What’s important to understand is how their nephew behaves at home.  He dresses quite provocatively and acts quite haughty.  He easily puts people off with his behavior and attitude.  If one tried to understand what might be behind this, you might guess that he is acting in a protective and distancing way.

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Radical (and Gentle) Acceptance

August 24th, 2009

difficult emotionsHave you ever felt lonely, confused, angry or sad?  Of course you have.  These are all normal, human emotions and experiences.  Are you comfortable feeling this way?  Perhaps not.  So, what do you do when faced with them?  Do you stuff them, avoiding them through negative self-talk, eating, drinking or some other behavior?  If so, there is another way.

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Be Good to Yourself

June 10th, 2009

self-compassionWhen parting with folk, I often say something like “Be good to yourself.”  I thought the meaning of this statement was self-evident.  But when someone asked me what I meant, I realized that I needed to be clear.

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Therapy and Rock Climbing

May 1st, 2009

“In rock climbing, there is a step called a ‘commitment move.’ You’re tied to the ropes and there’s a moment you have to let go of solid ground to move to the next higher place. It’s a scary step. You must trust what you’re tied to more than what you’re standing on.”         –Mary Manin Morrisey

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Climbing the Mountain

March 2nd, 2009

Sometimes it’s hard to feel like you’re making progress.  You’re doing all the right things:  Attending therapy, accepting that life has it’s ups and downs, going to your 12-step meetings, living your true identity, or a host of other self-improvement activities.  However, you’re still not where you want to be.  Life continues to feel overwhelming.  Depression, anxiety, sadness or loneliness visit often.

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Why People See Therapists

February 2nd, 2009

There are many reasons to see a therapist or counselor.  Some people come to deal with past trauma, difficult feelings, or emotions.  Others spend the time in session working on ways to cope with addictions or compulsions.  Some come in order to begin living a life true to themselves – their gender identity or sexual orientation.  Whatever the reason that compels a person to meet weekly with a stranger and speak their truth, perhaps the ultimate reason is captured in the few lines from the below poem…

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Race Relations in the Therapy Room

November 19th, 2008

I am sitting across from a new client – a person of another race.  I make a statement like “Often times, the fact of our different races can influence the process and outcome of our work together.  I’m going to do my best to pay attention to this.  I’d also encourage you to speak up if you think our cultural differences are getting in the way of our work.”  The client looks at me with a smile, pulls out her/his wallet, and shows me a picture of her/his child – clearly a biracial kid.

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