Radical (and Gentle) Acceptance
August 24th, 2009
Archive for the ‘Alcohol, Drugs, & Sexual Compulsions’ Category
Be Good to Yourself
June 10th, 2009
When parting with folk, I often say something like “Be good to yourself.” I thought the meaning of this statement was self-evident. But when someone asked me what I meant, I realized that I needed to be clear.
How Therapy Helps
May 21st, 2009
If you bring forth that which is within you,
Then that which is within you
Will be your salvation.
If you do not bring forth that
Which is within you,
Then that which is within you
Will destroy you.
~The Gnostic Gospels
The Shame Trap
April 19th, 2009
So many things can happen in life that trap us is shame. Being raped or in a violent relationship, childhood sexual exploitation, having an addiction or sexual compulsion, or even a mental illness are just a few of the things of which folks feel ashamed. There are many more. Most of them are not our fault. But ”The Shame Trap” catches you.
Seeking Help for Sexual Compulsions
March 29th, 2009
People who see therapists regarding their sexual compulsions and addictions have great courage. They don’t realize it, but speaking with someone about such a personal, private concern comes from a deep, probably unacknowledged pool of self-love. Why else would a person risk humiliation and embarrassment?
Practicing Forgiveness…
March 17th, 2009
Forgiveness is a tough concept. Especially if you’ve been abused, neglected or molested. It’s hard to even think about forgiveness if you’ve been mistreated by lovers, bosses, so-called friends, or even society (especially if you’re a Person of Color or LGBT). How can you forgive someone who hurt you so badly?
Is it Working?
January 25th, 2009
How long have you been trying to change the way you feel, think or behave? What have you been doing? Do you berate yourself for thinking a certain thought? Do you demand of yourself “Don’t think this!” “Don’t be depressed!” Do you have a drink, surf the web for porn, or eat…all in an effort to change your feelings, thoughts, problems?
Men Confronting Sexual Abuse and Rape
January 9th, 2009
Confronting a history of sexual abuse and rape is difficult for anyone. It is uniquely difficult for men, as our culture has so many myths about male sexuality. One is that men can’t be raped. A second is that males always enjoy any kind of sexual attention. It’s deemed a inherent part of our make-up.
Expressing Gratitude
January 4th, 2009
With the start of a New Year, I find it’s a good time to reflect on my life. What challenges have I overcome? Where am I making progress? What am I grateful for?
You Can Buy Happiness!
November 30th, 2008
According to a study (Dunn, EW, et al. “Spending Money on Others Promotes Happiness,” Science (March 21, 2008): Vol. 319, No. 5870, pp. 1687-88.) I read about in the Harvard Mental Health Letter (Sept. 2008), money can buy you happiness. Specifically, spending money on others can make you happier than when you spend it on yourself. In one study, the amount spent - whether as gifts or charitable donations - did not correlate with feeling happier. Just the act of giving made a difference.
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