Archive for the ‘Sexual/Physical Abuse & Trauma’ Category

Radical (and Gentle) Acceptance

August 24th, 2009

difficult emotionsHave you ever felt lonely, confused, angry or sad?  Of course you have.  These are all normal, human emotions and experiences.  Are you comfortable feeling this way?  Perhaps not.  So, what do you do when faced with them?  Do you stuff them, avoiding them through negative self-talk, eating, drinking or some other behavior?  If so, there is another way.

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How Therapy Helps

May 21st, 2009

how therapy helpsIf you bring forth that which is within you,
Then that which is within you
Will be your salvation.
If you do not bring forth that
Which is within you,
Then that which is within you
Will destroy you.
~The Gnostic Gospels

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Intimate Partner Violence

May 11th, 2009

love-handsIntimate Partner Violence, also known as Domestic Violence and Dating Violence, is a very secretive affair.  Folks don’t talk about it, but approximately one in four couples (straight and same-sex) experience it.  (Barnes, It’s Just a Quarrel’, American Bar Association Journal, February 1998, p. 25.)  Most of the times, it remains a secret out of shame and embarrassment.  Other times, partners might not identify the dynamics as abuse or violence.  What ever the case, you don’t have to accept this kind of relationship. 

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The Shame Trap

April 19th, 2009

So many things can happen in life that trap us is shame.   Being raped or in a violent relationship, childhood sexual exploitation, having an addiction or dealing with sexuality issues, or even a mental illness are just a few of the things of which folks feel ashamed.  There are many more.  Most of them are not our fault.  But “The Shame Trap” catches you.

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Practicing Forgiveness…

March 17th, 2009

Forgiveness is a tough concept.  Especially if you’ve been abused, neglected or molested.  It’s hard to even think about forgiveness if you’ve been mistreated by lovers, bosses, so-called friends, or even society (especially if you’re a Person of Color or LGBT).  How can you forgive someone who hurt you so badly?

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Men Confronting Sexual Abuse and Rape

January 9th, 2009

Confronting a history of sexual abuse and rape is difficult for anyone.  It is uniquely difficult for men, as our culture has so many myths about male sexuality.  One is that men can’t be raped.  A second is that males always enjoy any kind of sexual attention.  It’s deemed a inherent part of our make-up.

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Despair…and Hope

December 10th, 2008

“I wish I had never been born.”  Have you ever thought this?  It’s a devastating feeling.  And not so uncommon.

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What is Self-Love?

November 15th, 2008

Someone once asked me this question.  This person was struggling with their past and the way it was making itself known in their present.  So many mistakes.  So much growth still desired.  Positive self-esteem and self-regard wavering. 

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Embarrassed to see a Therapist?

November 11th, 2008

Sometimes people are embarrassed to see a therapist.  Others might be ashamed to let their friends or family know that they have seen or are seeing a counselor.  They think, ‘Will people think I’m crazy or weak?’  But now, the secret is out…

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Healing from Abuse

November 2nd, 2008

It’s obvious…abuse hurts.  Sexual, physical, emotional and mental abuse causes pain and suffering.  People who’ve been abused often feel shame too.  Our culture doesn’t smile upon the vulnerable and hurt.  In fact, it often judges those who’ve been victimized, no matter whether your a man or woman, gay or straight.

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