Posts Tagged ‘sexuality’

The body will open up when it feels safe

April 6th, 2017

187-eka-pada-rajakapotasana-3-yoga-pose-iyengarHave you ever attempted the yoga pose known as Eka Pada Raja- kapotasana, otherwise known as King Pigeon? In this pose, you balance on a bent leg, while reaching behind you to pull the opposite leg up – all while putting an arch in your back. It looks similar to a mermaid on a beach and is quite elegant. The pose requires a lot of openings in your body, flexiblity, and calmness. Without these qualities, you could hurt yourself, or simply fall out of balance.

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Am I Seeing a Sex-Positive Therapist?

September 28th, 2015

sex-positive therapistIn US culture, personal sexual expression is still a topic that is little discussed and very much stigmatized. While this is true for the population in general, it is also true for psychotherapists. The fact that sex therapy is a speciality rather than a skill all therapists are expected to have speaks volumes. In my field, sex is often seen as a side issue to a person’s well being, rather than integral. Many therapists are taught to see sexuality through a pathological lens. Anything outside of heteronormative, marital, & monogamy-seeking behaviors is often seen as problematic. For these reasons, it’s very important to be able to identify a sex-positive therapist when you need to work on sexual concerns about which you feel some shame or embarrassment.

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Sexing the Trans Man

July 18th, 2015

Transgender menHaving good sex can increase a trans person’s comfort with their body. This is the message Buck Angel and I attempted to impart to over 150 sex educators, counselors, and therapists at the annual AASECT (American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists) conference in Minneapolis this past June. At our workshop “Sexing the Trans Man,” attendees were excited to learn about the connections between gender identity, body dysphoria, and sexual expression as well as the opportunity to dispel some myths about transgender men. We showed one of Buck’s docu-porns to help attendees hear from actual transgender men as well as see what transgender sex actually looks like. (Hint – it doesn’t look any different than cisgender sex.) as well as see the diversity of transmasculine bodies.The major myth we attempted to dispel is that trans men hate their bodies.

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We Never Have Sex Anymore!

May 21st, 2013

I’ve heard that statement many times from clients.  In fact, it’s not an uncommon complaint in the therapy room.  And it can be a difficult problem for people in relationships to tackle.  There’s often a hidden storage of fear, embarrassment, anger, and resentment keeping people from having the sex life they desire.

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Poly-Friendly Therapy

August 30th, 2010

poly-friendly therapistJudgement.  I know you’ve felt it from people, maybe even from a therapist.  Judgement that your “lifestyle” isn’t healthy.  That there’s something wrong with your open relationship.  Maybe you’ve even been told that your intimate relationships are a sign that you can’t commit, you’re immature, or some other nonsense.

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Why a Kink-Friendly & Kink-Aware Therapist?

May 20th, 2010

kink-friendly therapistDiscussing topics of fetish, fantasy, BDSM and other “kinks” demands that your therapist is non-judgmental.  So many times, folks have reported feeling judged or pathologized for their desires or fantasies, even when they find these desires to be joyful and fulfilling.  A kink-friendly therapist doesn’t judge.  A kink-friendly and aware therapist recognizes that there are many ways in which people express themselves, their identity, intimacy, and sexuality.

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Men Confronting Sexual Abuse and Rape

January 9th, 2009

Confronting a history of sexual abuse and rape is difficult for anyone.  It is uniquely difficult for men, as our culture has so many myths about male sexuality.  One is that men can’t be raped.  A second is that males always enjoy any kind of sexual attention.  It’s deemed a inherent part of our make-up.

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Coming of Age

October 22nd, 2008

I recently facilitated a “Coming of Age” group for adolescent boys, ages 13 and 14.  What a fun experience!  But what a reminder of the influence peers have on our children.

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