February 19th, 2014

I so often write about dealing with depression, loneliness, hopelessness, and other difficult, dark times. I do this because we all go through challenging periods, but many of us rarely talk with our friends and loved ones about how we cope and find our way. Usually, I’ll write about the suggestions I give to clients, the ways my clients cope, or advice from other clinicians. This time, though, I’m doing something different, with the hope that this will be helpful as well.

Read the rest of this page »

Tags: Anxiety & Stress, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, healing, hope, self-love
Posted Under | Depression, Anxiety & Stress, Grief & Loss, Therapy & Counseling | No Comments »

February 10th, 2014

Trying to be authentic in this world can be hard. We feel pressured to conform…even by such simple questions as “How are you doing today?” – which we often answer with a pasted on smile and the word “Fine”. Some of us work in jobs we hate, fearful of what it would mean, what people would think, and how we would get by, if we changed careers. People in their 40’s and 50’s realize that they have much they still want to do, contemplate making changes, but don’t make them because they’re fearful that they will be seen as going through a “mid-life crisis” – a patronizing, and simplistic concept. Others are fearful to express their sexuality whether it is a same-sex attraction or a BDSM desire. And some present themselves as a gender that they know they really aren’t. Of course, the list goes on; I’m sure you could add your own ways in which you feel coerced  into “fitting in.” 

Read the rest of this page »

Tags: Anxiety & Stress, authenticity, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, hope, psychotherapy, self-love, Therapy & Counseling
Posted Under | Depression, Anxiety & Stress, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, & Queer Concerns, Relationships, Couples, Polyamory, Kink & Sexuality, Therapy & Counseling | No Comments »

April 13th, 2011

What happens when you grow up in a society saying you’re less-than for being black?  Or that you must be meek if your Asian?  Most likely, you reject these sterotypes and be yourself.  There are many prejudiced stereotypes you know aren’t true for you.  However, from what I know from my work with People of Color, these harmful messages can sometimes linger, distorting the way you think about yourself.

Tags: Anxiety & Stress, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, People of Color, racism
Posted Under | Depression, Anxiety & Stress, People of Color | No Comments »

April 13th, 2010

Grief is depression in proportion to circumstance; depression is grief out of proportion to circumstance.  So saysAndrew Solomon, the author “The Noonday Demon” (Scribner, 2001).  Mr. Solomon then proceeds to detail his often devastating experiences with major depression.

Tags: Anxiety & Stress, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, grief, loss
Posted Under | Depression, Anxiety & Stress, Grief & Loss | No Comments »

November 21st, 2009

What do you do when things get tough?  When you’re going through a difficult illness, experiencing a loss, or feeling depressed or anxious?  Many people follow the adage – “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.”  While there is some value to this, I offer a different path.

Tags: Anxiety & Stress, cancer, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, grief, hope
Posted Under | Cancer, HIV and Other Illnesses, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, Grief & Loss | No Comments »

November 2nd, 2009

Earlier in the week, I learned a valuable lesson from someone* who’s been through some major difficulties in life, including alcoholism in the family, financial difficulties, relationship issues, and mental illness.  This woman – let’s call her Shauna – has been troubled for a long time.  However, she’s found an excellent coping mechanism, firmly grounded in awareness and mindfulness.  Even when times are hard, and perhaps especially  when times are hard, Shauna reminds herself to “Look at my feet.”

Tags: Anxiety & Stress, hope
Posted Under | Depression, Anxiety & Stress, Sexual/Physical Abuse & Trauma | No Comments »

October 19th, 2009

“In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”~ Albert Camus

Tags: Anxiety & Stress, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, grief, hope
Posted Under | Grief & Loss, Therapy & Counseling | No Comments »

September 22nd, 2009

When you’re in the middle of a crisis or just feeling down, do you ever get pessimistic, thinking that this is your fate?  That you’ll never find relief?  That it will never get any better?  If so, you’re not alone.  It’s common for people to respond this way to difficulties in life, as well as to their current emotional states.

Tags: Anxiety & Stress, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, hope
Posted Under | Depression, Anxiety & Stress, Therapy & Counseling | No Comments »

March 2nd, 2009

Sometimes it’s hard to feel like you’re making progress.  You’re doing all the right things:  Attending therapy, accepting that life has it’s ups and downs, going to your 12-step meetings, living your true identity, or a host of other self-improvement activities.  However, you’re still not where you want to be.  Life continues to feel overwhelming.  Depression, anxiety, sadness or loneliness visit often.

Tags: Anxiety & Stress, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, hope, therapy
Posted Under | Depression, Anxiety & Stress, Therapy & Counseling | No Comments »

February 23rd, 2009

Life has some huge obstacles that it puts in our way.  Sometimes, the sheer weight of the challenge can be overwhelming.  You might feel like this moment will never pass and that life will always be this way.  You may feel desperate, depressed, and fed-up.  You may want to give up, feeling spent from all of your efforts.  When this happens, where can you find hope to carry you through? 

Read the rest of this page »

Tags: Anxiety & Stress, cancer, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, grief, HIV, hope
Posted Under | Cancer, HIV and Other Illnesses, Depression, Anxiety & Stress, Grief & Loss | No Comments »