Posts Tagged ‘transgender’

Sexing the Trans Man

July 18th, 2015

Transgender menHaving good sex can increase a trans person’s comfort with their body. This is the message Buck Angel and I attempted to impart to over 150 sex educators, counselors, and therapists at the annual AASECT (American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists) conference in Minneapolis this past June. At our workshop “Sexing the Trans Man,” attendees were excited to learn about the connections between gender identity, body dysphoria, and sexual expression as well as the opportunity to dispel some myths about transgender men. We showed one of Buck’s docu-porns to help attendees hear from actual transgender men as well as see what transgender sex actually looks like. (Hint – it doesn’t look any different than cisgender sex.) as well as see the diversity of transmasculine bodies.The major myth we attempted to dispel is that trans men hate their bodies.

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Body Parts and Sex – Overcoming Dysphoria

October 3rd, 2014

Gender TherapySex should be fun, sensual, erotic, hot, connecting. Highlight the word should. But it’s not this way for some people. Specifically, it is sometimes not comfortable for some transgender and gender non-conforming people. One of the main culprits is discomfort with what are supposed to be sexy body parts.  But if these body parts – or at least the mainstream names for them – don’t align with your gender identity, then sex becomes less than fun.  However, I recently attended a workshop, by a fantastic presenter – S. Bear Bergman – that helped us all reimagine trans sexuality.

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Queer is the New Cool

June 26th, 2014

What is it like when gender becomes so obscure and individualized that it seems to no longer matter as much as it did before…while still being an important part of someone’s identity and experience? Attend a conference for Trans*/GNC (Gender Non-conforming) folk and their allies and you’ll see for yourself, as I recently did, and you’ll realize how radically different, and accepting, the world can be.

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What Makes A Real Man?

April 23rd, 2014

I was recently reading a blog in which the author – a mother of a young boy – was bragging that her son is “all boy” – meaning he is rough and tumble and plays with trucks, guns, and GI Joes. I found this offensive. What about the boys who like Barbies and arts and crafts are sensitive? Are they not complete boys? Are they somehow deficient? Would she be less pleased with him. It seems strange to me that we are still playing into gender stereotypes about masculinity in men and boys.

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The Trouble with Passing

January 22nd, 2014

For many transgender people, particularly those who identify on the gender binary, “passing” is of particular importance.  And this makes a lot of sense to me.  I understand the very real concerns about people on the streets, at the job, or in a restroom recognizing you as transgender. There can be powerful, negative repercussions when that happens.  Unfortunately, we see this all the time and even have an annual day of mourning to those whose lives are lost due to the fear and hatred of others.  However, I have seen in my work that passing also comes with some troubles.

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Gender Therapist – Gender Therapy

September 19th, 2010

gender therapistMost people never question their gender – they don’t even realize that they have a gender identity.  It just is.  For others, the path is different.  If you identify as transgender, transsexual, Female to Male, Male to Female, Genderqueer, or any way other than Cisgendered, you know that path.  And sometimes, you may find it helpful to have a therapist journey with you.

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Families of Transgender and Gender Variant Folk

December 8th, 2009

gender therapistLiving in a world which doesn’t accept differing expressions of gender, much less transgender and transexual people, can be confusing and difficult.  And not just for gender variant or transgendered persons.  Parents, partners, spouses, and children also experience the judgement and fear that often comes out of our culture.

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Gay and Lesbian Couples & the Military

July 19th, 2009

LGBT military couplesI have learned from my clients that being LGBT and in the military is not easy.  Having to hide an integral part of yourself can take it’s toll.  The military poses special challenges for same sex couples in which one or both of the partners is serving.  For some couples, secrecy becomes important both on the job and off.  And if the couple decides to live openly while off-duty, worries about being seen or “caught” can still be present.

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Trans Health Conference in Philadelphia

June 27th, 2009

Do you know about the Trans Health Conference  in Philadelphia?  I just attended the 8th meeting in early June and found it to be a great resource for everyone…trans folk, gender variant children, therapists, doctors, and anyone else interested in transgender concerns, lives, and health.

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Southern Comfort

March 9th, 2009

Have you seen the documentary “Southern Comfort”?  It is a beautiful, heartbreaking, yet ultimately empowering depiction of how a transgender “family-by-choice” deals with life in a marginalizing Southern culture.  We watch as they navigate relationships and the world, while the patriarch of this circle of friends is dying of cancer.  If you are transgender yourself, you might find this a powerful film, watching a group of people with whom you connect.  If you’re simply sensitive to the lives of transsexual folk, you may find the film both illuminating and humanizing. 

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