Unresolved Trauma and Relationships
March 9th, 2010
Archive for the ‘Sexual/Physical Abuse & Trauma’ Category
A Decision to Heal
February 24th, 2010
How does it feel to heal from sexual abuse? What efforts do people make to once again feel healthy & strong, to regain trust? A terrific resource is the book ”Strong at the Heart” by Carolyn Lehman (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2005). She makes space for eleven survivors of sexual abuse to tell their stories of healing and hope.
The Trauma of Oppression
December 29th, 2009
Being a Person of Color in America has it’s challenges. You already know that. You don’t need a therapist to tell you about racism and how it affects you and your life. What I would like to tell you about, however, is how therapy can help relieve trauma-based symptoms which are caused by social conditions, like racism, sexism, and the like.
Escaping Trauma (Examples from the movie “Precious”)
November 23rd, 2009
Have you seen the movie “Precious”? I found it to be very moving, upsetting and enlightening. I thought that the main character, Precious, gave us some excellent examples of the negative effects of trauma and abuse - be it physical, sexual, or emotional.
Look at Your Feet!
November 2nd, 2009
Earlier in the week, I learned a valuable lesson from someone* who’s been through some major difficulties in life, including alcoholism in the family, financial difficulties, relationship issues, and mental illness. This woman - let’s call her Shauna - has been troubled for a long time. However, she’s found an excellent coping mechanism, firmly grounded in awareness and mindfulness. Even when times are hard, and perhaps especially when times are hard, Shauna reminds herself to “Look at my feet.”
Radical (and Gentle) Acceptance
August 24th, 2009
Have you ever felt lonely, confused, angry or sad? Of course you have. These are all normal, human emotions and experiences. Are you comfortable feeling this way? Perhaps not. So, what do you do when faced with them? Do you stuff them, avoiding them through negative self-talk, eating, drinking or some other behavior? If so, there is another way.
How Therapy Helps
May 21st, 2009
If you bring forth that which is within you,
Then that which is within you
Will be your salvation.
If you do not bring forth that
Which is within you,
Then that which is within you
Will destroy you.
~The Gnostic Gospels
Intimate Partner Violence
May 11th, 2009
Intimate Partner Violence, also known as Domestic Violence and Dating Violence, is a very secretive affair. Folks don’t talk about it, but approximately one in four couples (straight and same-sex) experience it. (Barnes, It’s Just a Quarrel’, American Bar Association Journal, February 1998, p. 25.) Most of the times, it remains a secret out of shame and embarrassment. Other times, partners might not identify the dynamics as abuse or violence. What ever the case, you don’t have to accept this kind of relationship.
The Shame Trap
April 19th, 2009
So many things can happen in life that trap us is shame. Being raped or in a violent relationship, childhood sexual exploitation, having an addiction or sexual compulsion, or even a mental illness are just a few of the things of which folks feel ashamed. There are many more. Most of them are not our fault. But ”The Shame Trap” catches you.
Practicing Forgiveness…
March 17th, 2009
Forgiveness is a tough concept. Especially if you’ve been abused, neglected or molested. It’s hard to even think about forgiveness if you’ve been mistreated by lovers, bosses, so-called friends, or even society (especially if you’re a Person of Color or LGBT). How can you forgive someone who hurt you so badly?
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