Archive for the ‘Sexual/Physical Abuse & Trauma’ Category

The Tricky Part

February 23rd, 2011

Have you read Martin Moran’s memoir “The Tricky Part“?  It’s his story of being sexually abused as a child and his journey to recovery.   It’s a wonderful, yet harrowing read for many reasons.  The part that stands out to me is his conflicting thoughts of hating the abuse, but also liking the attention.  It’s a confusing thought that many people - men and women - who were abused by someone they know experience.

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Unresolved Trauma and Relationships

March 9th, 2010

Do you have a hard time trusting?  Do you find intimacy threatening?  Do you run from a relationship before it gets too serious?  If so, you’re not alone.  These are some of the difficulties survivors of abuse, sexual assault, rape and molestation report.  Not all survivors, of course, but enough to were it’s recognizable. 

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A Decision to Heal

February 24th, 2010

How does it feel to heal from sexual abuse?  What efforts do people make to once again feel healthy & strong, to regain trust?  A terrific resource is the book ”Strong at the Heart” by Carolyn Lehman (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2005).  She makes space for eleven survivors of sexual abuse to tell their stories of healing and hope.

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The Trauma of Oppression

December 29th, 2009

Being a Person of Color in America has it’s challenges.  You already know that.  You don’t need a therapist to tell you about racism and how it affects you and your life.  What I would like to tell you about, however, is how therapy can help relieve trauma-based symptoms which are caused by social conditions, like racism, sexism, and the like.

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Escaping Trauma (Examples from the movie “Precious”)

November 23rd, 2009

Have you seen the movie “Precious”?  I found it to be very moving, upsetting and enlightening.  I thought that the main character, Precious, gave us some excellent examples of the negative effects of trauma and abuse - be it physical, sexual, or emotional.

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Look at Your Feet!

November 2nd, 2009

Earlier in the week, I learned a valuable lesson from someone* who’s been through some major difficulties in life, including alcoholism in the family, financial difficulties, relationship issues, and mental illness.  This woman – let’s call her Shauna – has been troubled for a long time.  However, she’s found an excellent coping mechanism, firmly grounded in awareness and mindfulness.  Even when times are hard, and perhaps especially  when times are hard, Shauna reminds herself to “Look at my feet.” 

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Radical (and Gentle) Acceptance

August 24th, 2009

Have you ever felt lonely, confused, angry or sad?  Of course you have.  These are all normal, human emotions and experiences.  Are you comfortable feeling this way?  Perhaps not.  So, what do you do when faced with them?  Do you stuff them, avoiding them through negative self-talk, eating, drinking or some other behavior?  If so, there is another way.

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How Therapy Helps

May 21st, 2009

If you bring forth that which is within you,
Then that which is within you
Will be your salvation.
If you do not bring forth that
Which is within you,
Then that which is within you
Will destroy you.
~The Gnostic Gospels

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Intimate Partner Violence

May 11th, 2009

Intimate Partner Violence, also known as Domestic Violence and Dating Violence, is a very secretive affair.  Folks don’t talk about it, but approximately one in four couples (straight and same-sex) experience it.  (Barnes, It’s Just a Quarrel’, American Bar Association Journal, February 1998, p. 25.)  Most of the times, it remains a secret out of shame and embarrassment.  Other times, partners might not identify the dynamics as abuse or violence.  What ever the case, you don’t have to accept this kind of relationship. 

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The Shame Trap

April 19th, 2009

So many things can happen in life that trap us is shame.   Being raped or in a violent relationship, childhood sexual exploitation, having an addiction or dealing with sexuality issues, or even a mental illness are just a few of the things of which folks feel ashamed.  There are many more.  Most of them are not our fault.  But ”The Shame Trap” catches you.

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