About Me…
October 19th, 2008
As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LICSW) located in Dupont Circle, Washington, DC, I provide compassionate and affirming psychotherapy for individuals, couples, families and adolescents. I have specialized experience helping people who do not feel like they fit in – those who’ve been marginalized or dismissed based on their identities or experiences…The Power of Speaking Up
January 8th, 2015
What do you do when you hear racist, transphobic, sexist or otherwise offensive comments? What does it feel like when you don’t speak up? Do you justify your actions and then feel uncomfortable with that justification? Do you fear coming off as rude or socially unacceptable. Do you fear offending the person who has offended you…or making others uncomfortable.
The Genius of BDSM
December 20th, 2014
“When I’m with her, she’s in control. I agree to do whatever she says. I trust that she’s got my interests at heart.” Such sentiments have been expressed to me by men and women when talking about their experiences with their Mistress, Master, Dom, Domme, or whatever term they use to describe the top in their Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship or sexual scene.
The Mid-Life Re-Evaluation (aka mid-life crisis)
December 3rd, 2014
“I’m kind of embarrassed. I think I’m just going through a mid-life crisis.” I’ve heard these words, or something similar to them, from many clients of a certain age. Shaming stereotypes of an older man running off with a younger woman in his brand new convertible run rampant…and make it more difficult for some people to talk about this stage of life.
When Polyamory Isn’t For You
November 14th, 2014
There’s been an interesting shift in a segment of society. Many people who are liberal and open minded have come to see polyamory as a more enlightened form of relationship – somehow more evolved than monogamy. They often think that it takes more work, requires better communication, and demands more self-awareness than monogamy. I don’t think there’s any scientific basis for this statement, though, to be sure, polyamory is quite different than monogamy in practice and relationship dynamics. I have nothing against polyamory – or monogamy. My stance is that people need to be in relationships that are right for them. However, this belief that polyamory is more enlightened can cause psychic pain to the person who’s not wired to be poly.
Tears…and The Soul
October 29th, 2014
I might find myself in tears. I wrote these words to a friend recently, anticipating a hurtful experience with someone I know. I was poking fun at myself, making fun of my propensity to cry, a trait I am at times proud of and at other times would rather not have. Read the rest of this entry »
Body Parts and Sex – Overcoming Dysphoria
October 3rd, 2014
Sex should be fun, sensual, erotic, hot, connecting. Highlight the word should. But it’s not this way for some people. Specifically, it is sometimes not comfortable for some transgender and gender non-conforming people. One of the main culprits is discomfort with what are supposed to be sexy body parts. But if these body parts – or at least the mainstream names for them – don’t align with your gender identity, then sex becomes less than fun. However, I recently attended a workshop, by a fantastic presenter – S. Bear Bergman – that helped us all reimagine trans sexuality.
Sexual Trauma and Men – A Path to Thriving
July 11th, 2014
Talking about sexual assault, sexual abuse, and rape is difficult for anyone. For men, it has it’s own unique challenges – often putting to question a man’s sense of his own masculinity. Men, some think more then women, are quiet about this experience. They often don’t know what path to take in dealing with such challenging memories. And we know that when people don’t talk about the hard stuff, when they hold it in, that they often get depressed, angry, sad, and feel alone and misunderstood. Read the rest of this entry »
Queer is the New Cool
June 26th, 2014
What is it like when gender becomes so obscure and individualized that it seems to no longer matter as much as it did before…while still being an important part of someone’s identity and experience? Attend a conference for Trans*/GNC (Gender Non-conforming) folk and their allies and you’ll see for yourself, as I recently did, and you’ll realize how radically different, and accepting, the world can be.
Read the rest of this entry »
Sex, STIs, & Being Clean
May 14th, 2014
A clean bill of health. Those are words most of us like to hear from the doc following a visit. There’s nothing wrong with feeling healthy. But this saying has morphed into a stigmatizing way of viewing STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections). If you spend anytime on dating and hook up sites, you’ll see some people write that they’re “clean” and they’re hoping that you’re “clean” too…clean being a euphemism for not having an STI. The implication is that if you have an STI, you are dirty. It sounds awful. And dehumanizing.
What Makes A Real Man?
April 23rd, 2014
I was recently reading a blog in which the author – a mother of a young boy – was bragging that her son is “all boy” – meaning he is rough and tumble and plays with trucks, guns, and GI Joes. I found this offensive. What about the boys who like Barbies and arts and crafts are sensitive? Are they not complete boys? Are they somehow deficient? Would she be less pleased with him. It seems strange to me that we are still playing into gender stereotypes about masculinity in men and boys. Read the rest of this entry »
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